Rainy Day TV
by Erika Darkmoon
Summary: Rainy days are boring no? Not in this fic! When Kaiba turns on the TV during a blackout, what horribly new channels will the Yugioh gang watch? R&R please!
1. Sinsemilla Street and more besides

**Rainy Day TV**

Summary: It's a rainy day and there's a blackout. When Kaiba finds the TV is working what insanely scary channels will he find? Read and find out!

Warnings/notes: I do not own the Sinsemilla Street idea…….be warned, there is perverseness by the bucket load and some language. Makes fun of kid's shows.

Rated: R

Erika: I hope you have fun reading this……I wouldn't suggest drinking or eating anything while you're reading this. yeah…hehehehehe read on…….

X

It was a wet rainy day in Japan and the Yugioh gang was at Anzu's house.

"Somebody turn on the TV." Bakura growled.

"We're in a fricken blackout you bitch hole! Do you think the TV's really going to fricken work?" Marik snapped.

"Oh screw this!" Kaiba grabbed the remote and pressed on the power button. The TV clicked on showing the end of a commercial.

"….so come buy your lube today! Yee haw!"

OO'

"That…was….interesting." Shizuka uttered.

"And now back to Wheel of Torture." The announcer said. Kaiba blinked and changed the channel.

"Can you tell me how to get, how to get to Sinsemilla Street!" Kermit and Big Bird were

on a brick wall, smoking.

"Big Bird, what is the letter of the day?" Kermit asked, smoking his bong.

"The letter of the day is 3." Big Bird answered, high.

"Big Bird, 3 is a number not a letter."

"Oh, the letter of the day is Joint." Kermit gave a laugh.

"Big Bird, Joint is a word not a letter. Why did you say those anyway?"

"Three is the number of joints I smoked today." Kermit and Big Bird laugh. Elmo comes over with a needle sticking out of his vein.

"Hello Kermit! Big Bird! Have you seen my dildo?" Kermit shook his head.

"I think it's in my #(!&#&&." Big Bird said bending down.

Slllliiiiiip

"Thank you Big Bird!" Elmo runs off and runs into a wall.

"Big Bird, let's say our A B C's." Kermit said.

"Ok!" Big Bird answered.

"A B C D E F ummmm, R Z P I E T JOINT L Q K E FUCK R A H E Y T N V A S uhhhh….." Both of the high puppets started giggling.

"So, heeheeheehee, the message of the day is what Big Bird?" Kermit asked.

"Fuck you and go screw your dildo!"

"CAN YA TELL ME HOW TO GET, HOW TO GET TO SINSEMILLA STREET!" The kid's voices sang.

OO'''''''

"WHAT…..THE…..FUCK?" The Yugioh gang uttered.

"Talk about bizarre." Yuugi stated.

"Yuugi, mate, shut up." Ryou said. Kaiba blinked again and turned the channel.

"OH KEN!" Kaiba quickly clicked the channel again.

"I love you, you love me, let's team up and fuck Barney. With a great big orgasm as we slip inside, Barney please fuck us tonight!" The Kids sang. A little kid with glasses got down on his knees and started to give Barney a blowjob.

"Oh Sam don't stop!" Kaiba changed the channel as everyone started to fuck each other.

"Between the lions! Come on! Come in! Begin, to fuck us gays! Between the lions like pages between a book! Between the lions like the meat between a sandwich! Come in between the lions! It ends between the lions! Between the lions!" The lady stopped singing and it opened, showing a guy between to fucking lions.

"ROARRRR!"

"OH MUFASA DON'T STOP!"

"Simba….is…..gay?" Nala asked with tears.

"ROARRRRRRR!"

"NOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo!" Nala cried over the gay lion's and gay man's screams. (No offense to anyone who likes the Lion King).

Kaiba clicked off the TV and looked at the others.

"Do you want to play Monopoly?" He asked.

"Yeah." Everyone answered quickly.

X

Erika: The end! Wow that was perverted and completely hilarious…..I got the Sinsemilla Street idea from everything else is just whatever I made up myself. I'm sorry it was so short. Hope ya liked it! R&R please! Sayonara!


	2. Faggot Tales

Rainy Day TV 2

Erika: All right, I'm a liar. But don't you just love me for it? Here is the sequel to Rainy Day TV…….

X

Anzu fumbled with her keys and opened the door only to jump in surprised when she saw the Yugioh gang lounging in her living room, watching TV. Yuugi tore his gaze away from the screen and grinned.

"Hey Anzu!"

"Uh, hi Yuugi…..why is everyone over here?"

"We wanted to watch more of those fucked up channels you have on your cable."

SLAP!

"YUUGI MOTOH DON'T YOU EVER SAY 'FUCKED UP' AGAIN!" Atemu screeched.

Blink. Blink.

"What the hell's wrong with you Pharaoh? Someone stick a pole up your ass?" Malik sneered. (A/N: Go Malik!)

"Pardon?" He asked.

"'Pardon'? What kind of lame word is dat?" Jounouchi sneered. Everyone blinked.

"Some burn Jounouchi." Marik said sarcastically.

"Dank you! I've had it lined up for a while." Marik smacked his forehead while Ryou just shook his head in dismay.

"You poor sad person." Atemu murmured.

"At least I'm not stupid!" Jou shot back. Atemu glared at him.

"At least I'm not dumb!"

"At least I'm not a moron!"

"At least I'm not a gay incesting mutt!"

Silence.

"BURN!" Jou ran out of the room, crying. Anzu sighed and took his place.

"What are you watching?" She asked Ryou.

"Some weird kid show called Faggot Tales." Coincidentally the show came back on right after he said that.

"Faggot tales, Faggot tales. Let's all go to Faggot tales! Come along, take my hand. Let's all go to Faggot Land!"

The two kids walked in, sighing.

"How was your day?" The girl asked.

"It sucked like a mother fucker! First this teacher named Mr. Houston raped me and then I got BJed by Vanmetre and I had to BJ him too!" The girl sighed.

"Well, I got an F on my test and my grade went down to an A-! My academic career is ruined!" The boy nodded.

"Ya know, we need some time in Faggot Land." The girl nodded. They grabbed the scale (it had a bong engraved on it) and put both their hands on it.

"I wish, I wish, with all my snot to smoke with faggots in a pile of Pot!" The kids were fell into a pile of Pot and the Dragon's lighted it for them.

"Ahh, relaxing high." The boy said, smelling the Pot. The Dragons nodded and went back to fucking each other.

Zach and Casey gave themselves blowjobs, after all, they were a two-headed Dragon with one body.

"This feels so good!" The pink Dragon giggled as the Blue Dragon humped her.

"I love Faggot Land." The girl sighed.

Anzu looked at the TV with wide eyes…..kinda like this: OO'

"You guys are watching this shit?" Everyone gave her a deranged stare.

"Sorry, can't you find anything better?" Kaiba picked up the remote and flipped through the channels stopping on Bob the Builder.

"Oh Bob!" The girl cried as she had an unexpected orgasm.

"I drilling right into you! Oh yeah baby you're like a tight screw!" The Truck stared through the window, leaking gas.

"I wish someone would fuck me." He moaned, his engine rumbling.

"BOB! AH! OH BOB!"

Blink. Blink.

"Let's change the channel shall we?" Kaiba asked to no one in particular. He went up one channel to find Teletubbies.

"Tinkywinky suck my winky!" Dipsy moaned.

"Bo lick my lala!"

OO'

"Changing the channel!" Kaiba uttered. The channel changed and showed…….

X

Erika: Don't you just hate cliffhangers? Hey, please Review and give me some Kid's shows I can make fun of. Teletubbies, Sesame Street, Barney, Between the Lions, and Bob the Builder are already finished. So please give me some ideas! Please! R&R and Sayonara !


	3. Demented Vets & Co

Kaiba changed the channel and it showed…..DORA THE EXPLORER!

Dora finally stopped pole dancing the tree, and looked at the monkey.

"Ya want it again sugar?" She suggested seductively, her behemoth eyes staring at him with naked lust.

"Oh yeah!"

"Then vaminos mes compadre!" Compadre with benefits…hehehehe.

(A/N: Oh, I'm not in Spanish, so half of that might be French…woops.)

Kaiba glared at the TV and changed it again.

"Blues Clues!" The little kids shouted. Steve walked in and looked at Blue.

"So what do you want to do today Blue?" Blue whined, squatted, and peed on the carpet.

:eye twitch:

"YOU MOTHERFUCKING SONOFABITCH! That's it, you're getting fixed!' Steve shoved Blue into a cage and took her to the vets.

"I want this little bitch fixed!" Steve snarled. The vet's assistant nodded, and put Blue into a machine.

"What type of ectomy would you like?" The machine asked. Steve stared at it.

"Uh, the reproductional organs?"

"Okay." The machine intoned monotonously. There was a yelping, a whir of blades, and then suddenly, it was raining blue fur and red rain.

"NOOOOOOOOOOO!" Kaiba switched off the TV and stared at the others.

"Mazaki, I order you to buy a new TV!" He commanded coldly.

"Who the hell are you to order me around Kaiba! I'll do whatever I want! Besides, it's possessed, it won't move." After the previous statement, the TV glowed green and suddenly a Well appeared on the screen. Kaiba clicked the off button, but it didn't shut off. Kaiba clicked the button again and again. The little girl climbed out of the well and started to walk towards them.

Click click click click click click click click—

"Why the hell won't it shut off!" Kaiba yelled.

The little girl got closer.

Click click click click click click click click—

"I don't know!" Anzu yelled back. Kaiba banged the remote against the table.

CLICK! The TV shut off and everyone sighed.

"I hate your TV Mazaki." Kaiba grumbled.

X

Erika: Yeah, somehow Chapter three was deleted. I hope you like this new one! Later!


	4. The Wizard of Oz: The True Story!

Erika: Woo-hoo! I'm finally updating! Sorry it took so long crouches behind huge shield for fear of hazardous projectiles Ehehehe, so forgive me of that.

Malik: You can say that again.

Erika: Yep, it's true. Anyhoodles, here is Rainy Day TV 4!

X

Anzu sighed and glanced at Kaiba, "Look, Kaiba, let's just try and watch the next channel all the way through alright?" Kaiba turned very slowly and glared at her.

"Why?" He asked coldly.

"Er, uh, maybe, it uh, won't be as bad as it seems." Anzu answered, _'Damn I sound so lame.'_

"Fine." Kaiba changed the channel and on came, The Wizard of Oz!

(A/N: Before I go any further, I love The Wizard of Oz so please don't take this literally, thanks)

"We're off to see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of Oz!" So Dorothy, the Scarecrow, the Lion and the Tin-man skipped down the yellow brick road towards emerald city.

Meanwhile….

"I'll have her my pretty," The witch cooed to herself, "I'll kill her and take back those shoes…damn her! Those cost at least $5,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,001.25! And that little bitch took 'em. Well, I kill her my pretty," The witch looked into her glass orb and the field of poppy flowers; "Poppy flowers will do the trick."

"Oh look, a field of flowers!" Dorothy exclaimed in her southern accent.

"Er, what'd she say?" The Tin-man whispered to the Lion.

"I SAID FLOWERS YOU DUMBASS! DIDN'T YOU READ THE FUCKING SCRIPT!" Dorothy screamed. The Tin-man cowered (If that's even possible) and apologized profusely.

"Well," Dorothy sniffed, holding her nose high in the air, "I'm going through the flowers, because I'm pretty. Come on Toto." Dorothy skipped through the flowers and started laughing like a maniac, then suddenly she shriveled up and died.

"What…the….fuck?" The Scarecrow, Tin-man, and Lion uttered.

"Is she dead? Or is she not dead? That, is the question." The Scarecrow uttered, "Hey! I have a brain! I didn't need to see that gay bastard of a wizard after all!"

"Man my heart's still beating a mile a minute…hey! I have a heart!" The Tin-man exclaimed.

"Hey look, if you poke this part of her brain, her leg twitches!" The Lion cackled, poking Dorothy's exposed brain with a stick, "I always had courage, I just wanted to rape that bitch….oh well."

"The bitch is dead!" The Scarecrow rejoiced. Suddenly the munchkins jumped out and started singing:

"Ding dong the bitch is dead! The wicked bitch, that bitch is dead! Ding dong the wicked bitch is dead! She's gone now, to hell forever and now our heart's lift up in song! Ding dong the bitch is dead! The wicked bitch the bitch is dead! THE BITCH IS DEAD! SHE'S DEAD!"

Kaiba glared at Anzu as he turned off the TV.

"I hope you're happy bitch."

Anzu just looked at the TV with a stare of wonder.

"I can't believe that's on TV."

X

Erika: Sorry it was short and sorry it took so long to update! REVIEW!

**ATTENTION**

**I want to do a fic with someone so email me at if you are interested. Thanks.**


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